Net Ten: Top Ten Blatant Loading Screen Cover-ups (page 1) Subscribe to this RSS feed

There are normal loading screens and then there are, "Seriously? Is this a loading screen?" We're sure you've come across these poorly disguised loading screens. So, we're going to poke fun at developer's incompetence, and their ridiculous attempts to mask loading screens.

#10 Katamari Damacy's King of Cosmos Chatter

Admittedly, the King's loading screen appearances were a welcomed interuption at first. However, as with all loading screens, they got extremely repetetive and obnoxious. At first we laughed at the King and his non-sensical statements. Eventually phrases like, "Maybe We'll invent a Cosmic Esperanto." made our eyes roll back into our skulls. These wouldn't even make the writers of SNL laugh. Shut your trap and just let us roll some more buses, dad.

#10 Katamari Damacy's King of Cosmos Chatter

#9 Tony Hawk's American Wasteland's Tunnels

Back in 2005, Tony Hawk's developers made sure everyone knew their latest skateboarding cash-grab had NO STAGES and NO LOADING, even though it totally had both. You see, when your skater wanted to go from one "part" of the city (read: stage) to another, he or she would have to skate through an unimaginative hallway or tunnel filled with weak trick lines. Oh, and lots of disc spinning noises. Of course, you could skip those and hop on a bus, where you could walk around and do nothing. But hey, NO LOADING!

#9 Tony Hawk's American Wasteland's Tunnels

#8 Quake II's Building Screens

Quake on the Nintendo 64 - a system that supposedly had no loading - made you sit through a small screen that said, "building." See, it wasn't loading because the 64 didn't have load times, it was, "building." Doesn't that have a nice ring to it? The developers sure found a good cover-up for their non-loading, loading screens. Great job guys! Instead of a loading screen, we get a "building" screen - yay! (Pick submitted by teh2dgamer)

#8 Quake II's Building Screens

#7 Castlevania: Symphony of the Night's Corridors

While they aren't the worst offenders in the world in terms of masking load times, Symphony's empty corridors offend us from an interior decoration standpoint. Can you imagine Drac telling his designer "In between the room with the two giant demon dogs and the five-story high floating platform terrace, can we get a ten yard corridor where NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENS? That'll really throw my son off my trail."

#7 Castlevania: Symphony of the Night's Corridors

#6 Jericho's Struggling Typewriter

One of the worst disguised load screens ever would have to be the type writer load screen from Clive Barker's Jericho. It's supposed to be filling you in on your upcoming objective. Not such a terrible loading screen concept. The problem is, it just so happens that a 60 year old grandfather with Parkinsons disease is the one doing all the typing. T-t-t-t-today junior! (Pick submitted by dgeneral)

#6 Jericho's Struggling Typewriter