Net Ten: Top Ten Gaming Annoyances (page 1) Subscribe to this RSS feed

Like people who bite their nails or talk on their cell phones in public, video games have a couple of annoying habits that can sometimes affect, if not downright ruin, your enjoyment. Come along with us as we list ten gaming annoyances that drive us to distraction.

#10 Jibber-jabber (annoying made-up languages) - [ PC ]

We understand why some games don't use voiceovers... they may not have the budget or time to record 'em or they may want to leave something to the gamers' imagination. On the other hand, we can't stand it when a game employs an extremely annoying nonsensical faux-language. It may sound pretty cool to hear Okami's unique dialogue for the first hour, but it gets really tired really quick. Same with Simish. Even the almighty Link can grate on the nerves with his constant yells. In fact, unless your game is called Animal Crossing, you either go silent or speak American!

Bad: Okami
Good: Elder Scrolls: Oblivion

#10 Jibber-jabber (annoying made-up languages)
95% average
critic
score

#9 Must-see TV (unskippable cinemas) - [ PS2 ]

Games are being compared to movies nowadays, and with good reason: they can offer up a cinematic experience that rivals anything coming out of Hollywood, due in large part to the quality of cinematics that you see now--Lost Planet's cutscenes are so good you could watch 'em with a bowl of popcorn. Sometimes, though we'd rather play than watch. However, some games simply won't let you skip cinematics, which is just ridiculous. Some gamers don't care about the story; others are playing through for the second time. Either way, gamers should have the choice to skip ahead to the action. We might not always use it, but it's nice that it's there.

Bad: Okami
Good: Dead Rising

#9 Must-see TV (unskippable cinemas)
95% average
critic
score

#8 Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock (games that put you on an artificial clock) - [ Xbox 360 ]

Unless your name is MacGruber or Kobe Bryant, chances are, you don't work well under pressure. So why do so many games insist on putting you on the clock? Is it to make the action more suspenseful? Because really, all it does it piss us off. Sometimes it works, like at the end of many Metroid games when the planet starts to destruct, and you have to haul ass up a million platforms to get back to your ship. But take the recently released Lost Planet which features a constantly ticking energy meter that all but forces you into a run-and-gun. No fun. If we wanted to subject ourselves to a series of difficult tasks while working against a ticking clock, we'd sign ourselves up for the SAT's.

Bad: Lost Planet, Dead Rising
Good: Metroid

#8 Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock (games that put you on an artificial clock)
85% average
critic
score

#7 Undressed for Success (game characters with ridiculous gear) - [ Xbox 360 ]

Two people equally qualified come in for a job interview; one in flip-flops and shorts while the other in a suit and tie. Who do you hire? If you have half a brain, you tell the loser in the shorts to am-scray. The clothes don't always make the man, but you should always try to dress according to the situation; something more game characters should take to heart. We all love a little skin in our games but not when it completely flies in the face of reality. We're sick of seeing supposedly battle-hardened warriors walk into battle wearing what basically amounts to their underwear; as the Wu-Tang Clan famously said, "You best protect ya neck."

Bad: Girls of DOA, Golden Axe
Good: Hellgate: London, Halo

#7 Undressed for Success (game characters with ridiculous gear)
89% average
critic
score

#6 Pr0n Buffet (unnecessary nudity) - [ Xbox ]

With lifelike graphics comes the unprecedented ability to show boobies. Unfortunately, as the American Pie series has proven, nudity for the sake of nudity is just skanky. Strippers around the world rejoiced when BMX XXX reared its ugly head, featuring crappy controls the squarest tits around. Developers included oodles of unlockable boobage, but they were wrong in guessing to what depths gamers would sink for the sake of nudity. On the other side of the smut spectrum is God of War, which briefly uses nudity to immerse the player in hedonistic Greek culture.

Bad: BMX XXX
Good: God of War

#6 Pr0n Buffet (unnecessary nudity)
57% average
critic
score