Feature: Games.Net's Gaming Surname Spectacular! Subscribe to this RSS feed

The last of the last names, from Rayman to Zelda, and a note about the Mario Brothers.

Hey! What about...

You may question a few missing characters from this feature, but you may not be aware that they do, in fact, have a last name. Here's some characters we omitted, and why:

Mario and Luigi
As if you needed more of a reason to hate the Super Mario Bros. movie, the lame addition of "Mario" as the brothers' last name dissapointed many a fan. While the game's creators may have dubbed it non-canonical, we consider Mario and Luigi off limits.

Sonic
According to Steven Kent's The Ultimate History of Videogames "Sega marketing wizard Al Nilsen had the "the" registered as Sonic's middle name."
That would make his last name Hedgehog, would it not? plus, it's the basis for a running gag in the article, which we couldn't pass up.

Conker
He's officially called"Conker the Squirrel." Squirrel is capitalized, which we officially consider too close to a last name. Hey, we have rules, here, you know.

Ryu (Street Fighter Series)
Again, blame Hollywood for foisting a lame last name on an iconic character. Ryu Hoshii? We coulda done better.

Scorpion and Sub-Zero
Both of Mortal Kombat's classic ninja characters had real names before they donned their palette-swapped masks. Scorpion was known as Hanzo Hasashi, and the original Sub-Zero later became Noob Saibot.

Character: Rayman
New Full Name: Rayman Babbit
Why?: You know that character was completely ripped off of Dustin Hoffman's Oscar-winning performance in Rain Man. He didn't have arms in that movie, right? Just like Rayman.

Character: Raz (Psychonauts)
New Full Name: Raz Matazz
Why?: What was the one thing that kept Psychonauts from attaining the sales it so richly deserved? Some razzmatazz, that's what.

Character: Razor (Maniac Mansion)
New Full Name: Razor Occam
Why?: The most rational last name is usuually the right one.

Character: Sam (Sam and Max Series)
New Full Name: Sam Spayed
Why?: We promised our English LIt professor we'd include a reference to The Maltese Falcon. Also, we have the feeling Sam's working without equipment, if you get our drift.

Character: Sephiroth (Final Fantasy VII)
New Full Name: Sephiroth Strife
Why?: Let's just add another convoluted plot twist to Final Fantasy VII... why let Square have all the fun?

Character: Starman (Pro Wrestling)
New Full Name: Starman Goldstein
Why?: What, you think Luchadores can't be Jewish? Racist.

Character: Striker (Bad Dudes)
New Full Name: Striker Wife
Why?: Sorry to burst your bubble arcade fans, but Striker was a dick. If you abuse women, you are a bad dude.

Character: Syd (Maniac Mansion)
New Full Name: Syd Viscous
Why?: Altered ever so slightly to avoid legal trouble with The Sex Pistols

Character: Vega (Street Fighter)
New Full Name: Vega Tarian
Why?: Turns out wearing claws made this bullfighter a PETA convert.

Character: Voldo (Soul Calibur Series)
New Full Name: Voldo Sedan
Why?: Freaky fighter named after a reliable car line. Who knew?

Character: Wiki (Zack and Wiki)
New Full Name: Wiki Pedia
Why?: Monkeys and websites can marry, America. Deal with it.

Character:Yoshimitsu (Tekken Series)
New Full Name: Yoshimitsu Electronics Co. Ltd.
Why?: Man? Robot? Technology concern based out of Osaka? Who knows? Fighting games are so confusing nowadays.

Character:Zack (Dead or Alive Series)
New Full Name: Zack Hefner
Why?: Being constantly surrounded by busty women definitely runs in the family.

Character: Zack (Zack and Wiki)
New Full Name: Zack Pedia
Why?: A man can enter into a polygamous relationship with a monkey and a website, America. Deal with it.

Character:Zangief (Street Fighter Series)
New Full Name: Zangief Drago
Why?: Despite the fact that he's the spitting image of Final Fight's Mike Haggar, it turns out that every roided-out Russian is related.

Character:Zelda (Legend of Zelda Series)
New Full Name: Zelda the Hedgehog
Why?: Sonic, you slut.

Are there any first-name-only characters we forgot? Have we committed a grave mistake and given a last name to a character that already had one? Drop a comment, and please, be as angry and vitriolic as humanly possible.