Feature: Games.Net's Game Surname Spectacular! Subscribe to this RSS feed
Ever wonder what your favorite gaming character's last name would be? Wonder no longer. We've made up ones for them!
While gaming has seen its share of amazing characters over the years, it sometimes seems as if the creativity ends at the first name. Moreso than almost any other method of storytelling, game characters are often last-nameless, leaving us to wonder what's printed on their driver's licenses.
With that in mind, we've picked the most mysteriously named characters in all of gaming and given them proper surnames. Sometimes, it's a natural match to their first name, other times, it's a logical extension of their personality. More often than not, however, it just makes a kickass pun. So cast all canon aside and enjoy our Surname Spectacular. And developers take note... if you don't give your characters a last name, we will!
With that haircut, you have to be a friend of the animals.
Character: Akuma (Street Fighter Series)
New Full Name: Akuma Matata
Why?: Look, we said there'd be puns...
Character: Altaïr (Assassin's Creed)
New Full Name: Altaïr Beauregarde
Why?: If you've got a name like Altaïr, you're going to need an equally pretentious-sounding last name
Character: Arthur (Ghosts and Goblins Series)
New Full Name: Arthur Knightley
Why?: Because you can just picture him plunging lances through skeletons yelling "Tell Satan that Sir Arthur Knightley sent you!". Then they named that crappy actress after him.
Character: Balrog (Street Fighter Series)
New Full Name: Balrog Douglas
Why?:
In order to cover up the M. Bison-Balrog mixup, Capcom decided to name Balrog after the first man to ever defeat Iron Mike.
Character: Banjo (Banjo-Kazooie Series)
New Full Name: Banjo Akoostik
Why?: While still keeping in tradition with the oddball names in his series, Banjo's last name lets the world know he prefers to play unplugged
Character: Baraka (Mortal Kombat Series)
New Full Name: Baraka Obama
Why?: If any Mortal Kombat character is going to have political aspirations, it's probably the guy with gigantic blades for arms.
Wait, this guy gets his own game and Balrog doesn't?
Character: Bayman (Dead or Alive Series)
New Full Name: Bayman Docker
Why?: A Navy SEAL like Bayman probably spends some time at the docks... also, you know after a hard day cracking the necks of busty schoolgirls, he probably hits the town in a polo shirt and dockers.
Character: Blade (Bad Dudes)
New Full Name: Blade Dueled
Why?: The 80s were rife with bad Japanese translations, and Blade was another of its victims,
Character: Blanka (Street Fighter Series)
New Full Name: Blanka Page
Why?: If you're going to grow up to be a gigantic, green, electricity-conducting monster, you probably had a sissy last name as a kid.
Character: Bonk
New Full Name: Bonk Adonk
Why?: Long before it was used to describe an apple-bottomed girl, Bonk served his surname spectacularly in the Stone Age.
Character: Bubsy
New Full Name: Bubsy Poindexter
Why?: FACT: Most "dudes with 'tudes" are making up for a dorky childhood.
Character: Clank (Ratchet and Clank Series)
New Full Name: Clank Crash
Why?: A surname that pays homage to platformer stars and robots alike.
Dreadlocks are the new mullet.
Character: Cyrax (Mortal Kombat Series)
New Full Name: Billy Ray Cyrax
Why?: In the heart of every cyborg lays a country-singer.
Character: Daisy (Super Mario Land)
New Full Name: Daisy Chain
Why?: How else could she steal attention from Peach?
Character: Dante (Devil May Cry Series)
New Full Name: Dante Kong
Why?: Before becoming a gun-toting metrosexual, Dante had a back full of white fur and ate bananas suggestively.
Character: Daxter (Jak and Daxter Series)
New Full Name: Daxter Itty
Why?: Okay, granted, he was a regular-sized, non-dexterous human before, but that name works on too many levels to pass up.
Character: Dhalsim (Street Fighter Series)
New Full Name: Dhalsim Smith
Why?: Two words: hippie parents.
Character: Dural (Virtua Fighter Series)
New Full Name: Dural Last
Why?: Easy. She's the final boss, and can endure a brutal slugfest.
Character: Frogger
New Full Name: Frogger Ibarelyevenknowher
Why?: Because he loves that punchline so.
Character: Goro (Mortal Kombat Series)
New Full Name: Goro Aboat
Why?: It's an intimidating quip that befits a four-armed beast.
