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Don't worry about combing through all the wasteful ego-inspired rants. The Gamer's Guide to the Galaxy highlights only the best (and asinine) riffs about gaming from around the Net.

This week: Game Developers Conference, Virtual Jesus, and an offer you can't refuse.

Nintendo and Sony at GDC 2006
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For those that couldn't attend the Game Developers Conference this year, Joystiq.com has the minute by minute breakdown of the exciting keynote speeches from Sony and Nintendo. What did we get from Sony? God of War 2 and more ducks. What did we get from Nintendo? A new Zelda game for the DS. Yay!

Is The Godfather Worth $20 Million in Street Cred?
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Ultimately, it's better to get the game to the public than make Wired News' Vaporware Awards list. It's just too bad some of that money wasn't used to buy rave reviews from critics -- the mobster way.

Crucified Into Virtual History
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It's not The Passion of the Christ, but if this stunt doesn't spark a bit of controversy -- color us surprised.

Grown-ups Press Start More Often
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This is great news! More adults equal less annoying 14 year-olds screaming obscenities over Xbox Live.

Lil Flip Raps Def Jam Game Rip-Off
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First, Snoop Dogg's Fear and Respect was cancelled, then Marc Ecko's Getting Up was slammed by the critics, and now this. It's obvious the game is destined for damnation.

Video Game Virtuoso Tickles the Ivory
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Play a song piano boy while the audience slips into a nostalgic trance.

Peace and Love in Video Games
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If Will Wright were allowed in the competition this year, he would have swept the floor with Cliffy B and his so-called Epic ideas.

A Novel Way to Tell a Story
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This CBS News writer compares video games to great literature, asking if games could ever be as popular as "Moby Dick" or "War and Peace". Of course they can, video game masterpieces come in the form of Mario and Master Chief.

The Pen is Mightier Than the Writer
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Those kooky characters at IGN have come up with a brilliant list of the Top 10 pens found at this year's GDC. Not that there was anything else important at GDC worth covering, like God of War 2 or the new Zelda DS.